Falling Up by Melody Carlson

Author:Melody Carlson [Carlson, Melody]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780307562999
Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.
Published: 2000-01-02T08:00:00+00:00

Okay, here's what I really think.

Dear No Credit,

Get real. Your parents are right You are too young. Get over it.

Just Jamie

Okay, I won't write that. In fact, I won't write anything today. I just can't.

Twelve

Thursday, June 6

I feel like I'm losing it. Like I can feel life or time or something important just slipping through my fingers, like I can't really hang on. It's hard to describe, and I can't even wrap my head around it, except that it feels totally out of character—its not like me to be like this.

I think I first started feeling seriously whacked on that day I took Nat to Haven and assumed she was getting an abortion. But I guess I sort of brushed it aside when I realized she hadn't actually done it (yet), telling myself I would deal with it later. Then I fell apart when I heard from Matthew the next day on Tuesday

“Sorry, I didn't call yesterday,” he told me. “I went with my grandpa to play golf, and it kind of turned into an all-day thing.”

“That's okay.” Of course, I don't mention that he could've called me later that evening.

“We had a really great time, and we were just finishing up the sixteenth hole when Grandpa got this idea about taking me to Europe as a graduation present. He was talking about all the galleries and museums and how it would be good for my art.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, that's what I was thinking. So anyway, we finished up golf and went to his house and got online, and he started looking for good travel deals. And you're not going to believe this, Km; he actually booked a trip.”

“That's cool.”

“We leave on Thursday. Can you believe it?”

“Seriously? You're leaving this Thursday?”

“Yeah. Grandpa got a great deal because we were able to just pick up and go.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“We're not really sure. I mean, the round-trip ticket isn't booked until early August, but Grandpa said we could change our plans if we wanted.”

“That's like two months,” I said, surprised that I could actually do the math since I've been feeling so brain-dead.

“Yeah. But Grandpa thinks it'll take that long to really see what we need to see. It'll be hard being away from you that long, Kim, but this is such a great opportunity for me—and for my art, you know? I couldn't say no.”

“Of course not, Matthew. This is incredible. I'm so happy for you.” But even as I said this, I felt tears building up and I could hear the gruffness in my throat. “I, uh, I have to go right now. I promised Nat that I'd help her with something.” Okay, that was a lie, but I had to get off the phone.

“I've got a bunch of stuff to do too, Lucky for me, I already have a passport. Grandpa's picking me up in few minutes to take care of some of the other details.” So we said good-bye and hung up, and I began to cry again.

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